Lean Forever: Vegeketosis, Part II

If you're reading this because you're legitimately interested in a ketogenic diet (with a strong Advocare showing on the supplement side), I want you to know what you're in for.

This delicious looking brew is a poor-man's version of bulletproof coffee.  170 calories.  26 grams of fat.  No carbs.  No protein.  All it takes is (brace yourselves): a cup of dark roast coffee (I brewed 12oz of Marley's espresso blend), a tablespoon of grass-fed, unsalted butter (I used Kerrygold), and a tablespoon of unrefined coconut oil (I used my grocery store's brand).  Add butter and oil to the hot coffee, blend thoroughly, and soon Starbucks will be making "butter lattes" for the masses.

It's good.  Trust me.  I'm not snobbish about a lot, but I am very particular about my coffee, and if it's palatable to me, then it's probably decent for everyone.

But this is a prime example of what is needed to make ketosis happen.  You will be getting around 70-75% of your calories from fat, and unless you're into chugging oil or drinking butter, you need to improvise.  And, if you do hate it, there are alternatives.

If you're struggling to drink the required amount of water on the 24DC or Lean in 13, then I've got some bad news.

When glucose is in a holding pattern in the body, it's stored with a ton of water, and when the cells send out the smoke signals for energy, the glucose is released (and the water along with it).  You can sort of see how dehydration happens during intense exercise: glucose is all consumed, water is flushed out, and suddenly you're losing more water than you're taking in.

Anyway, no carbs means a drastic reduction in glucose, which means a drastic reduction in stored water.  This is why Atkins diets see such immediate results: all that stored water is flushed out.  The rule of thumb is to take your body weight and divide by two to get the # of ounces of water you should get.  I find myself drinking roughly my body weight in ounces, and peeing a lot more.  Except in the most extreme cases, there's no such thing as too much water.  But always err on the side of caution and chug it down.

Good news for folks in dire need of some sweets.  Look at that thing.  Doesn't it look delicious?

So earlier I mentioned alternatives to bulletproof coffee, and this is it: the fat bomb.  Essentially a chilled amalgamation of oil and butter, combined with other miscellany that make it taste like something less disgusting.

The one above (and the one I made tonight): is a coconut variant: shredded coconut, coconut oil, butter, cinnamon, and a bit of stevia.  Toast the coconut and toss it in the food processor with the other ingredients until smooth.  Pour into muffin tins (or ice cube trays) and let it chill for at least 30 minutes.

Mine was a little light on flavor, but there are thousands of recipes (just google "Keto Fat Bomb" to see all the Pinterest-worthy sexy photos of chilled coconut oil).  Since the base is usually oil and butter, you're free to experiment and figure out what you like best without throwing a ton of money down the drain.  

Why are they important?  For the same reason as the coffee: you need healthy fat without a lot of carbs or protein, and it is very hard to get the required amount without fat bombs and bulletproof coffee.

I will never, ever quit Spark.  It's the only thing that coaxes me out of bed at 4:30 to head to the gym.  But I did have to sacrifice my Meal Replacement Shakes.  A sad day for me, but a joyous occasion for my daughter, who now gets them all to herself.

But, by the end of the day I am usually sick and tired of rich, fatty meals, and I want to give my protein numbers one last boost before shutting down eating for the night, and that's what Muscle Gain is for (note: I would go with the vanilla over the chocolate...the former is a little more versatile, plus it only has 4 grams of carbs to the chocolate's 7).  One scoop of that, two tablespoons of peanut butter (or PB2, if your fat numbers are good), ice and water, and blend it up.

If you're looking for something more dessert-y: plain greek yogurt (both non-fat and full-fat) is relatively low carb.  If you mix the Muscle Gain in with some yogurt and PB you get a mousse-like consistency (I'd recommend adding a little bit of vanilla extract to cut the tang of the yogurt).

If you did a 24DC or a cleanse you should already know that there are vegetables to avoid, either due to high sugar content or an abundance of starch.  Ketogenic diets are no different.  Thankfully people have already done the dirty work.  While vegetables are an important part of ANY diet, I find that I can somewhat justify a small reduction in the vegetable servings, given that most of my meat alternatives are soy based.  Still, I aim for at least one salad a day, and a veggie with dinner.

I will save Part III until Saturday, which is weigh-in day, so you can see how ketosis has worked for me for one week.  Since by then I should be in ketosis for at least a few days, hopefully with no ill-effects.

I'll leave you with my food round-up for the day.  You can see how the absence of a fat bomb forced me to use both butter and oil while cooking dinner, and make a little sauce out of heavy cream and goat cheese, which really made the dinner almost too rich.  Tomorrow I'm tossing at least one fat bomb into my morning snack, and might have to use another after dinner (they're about 10g of fat per).

Still, though, it barely feels like a diet.

Lean Forever: Vegeketosis, Part I

First off, what the hell is ketosis?  There's plenty of sites dedicated to more scientific explanations, but, above all else, I'm a layman.

In the normal, food-pyramid-y, equal parts carbs and protein diet, your body takes carbohydrates and breaks them down into glucose, which is then shuttled into the bloodstream.  When the pancreas notices the uptick in glucose levels it produces insulin, the hormone that latches onto glucose and shoves it into cells for energy.  Obviously this process is flawed for diabetic folks and the hypoglycemic.

When the body doesn't have enough glucose, the pancreas goes to its backup plan and releases lipase: an enzyme that breaks down stored fat (triglycerides).  The fat cells go to the liver for further processing, creating glycerol and ketones.  The glycerol is further metabolized through amino acids and lactate into glucose, and the ketones are metabolized into BHB (which the brain uses for fuel) and acetone (which is either further metabolized into glucose, or peed out).

The main goal of a ketogenic diet is to keep the body steadily (and safely) in ketosis, which will, in turn, burn fat for fuel.

What's awesome about a ketogenic diet, and what's awful?

Awesome:

• Ketosis relies on a steady input of protein and...drum roll...fat.  It seems wildly antithetical to think of fat as a necessary macro for fat loss, but fat is a) almost entirely ketogenic, which means that if you're in ketosis then that fat is being metabolized immediately for fuel, and b) wildly filling.  I did a ketogenic diet late last year and I'm on day 2 as I type this, and feeling hungry has never, ever, ever been an issue.
• If you're an omnivore, ketogenic diets are similar to Atkins, except with a greater focus on the kinds of fats you're ingesting (so maybe don't eat bacon for three meals)...but this does mean that lean meats and seafood will get top billing with every meal, and everyone knows how delicious they are.
• If you're a vegetarian, welcome to a world of eggs, nuts, and cheese, and nearly every mock-meat is low carb (avoid anything breaded, though).
• With Atkins and Paleo diets still relatively popular, you have a wealth of resources for recipes and meal ideas that are either 100% ketogenic or very easily could be with a few tweaks.
• Ketogenic diets fit in very nicely with Advocare supplements, and (as I'll show in Part II) can be easily adapted to a Lean in 13 program or even a 24 Day Challenge.

Awful:

• Goodbye, bread (although I've made a pretty tasty low-carb bread last weekend)
• Goodbye, pasta (although shirataki noodles are an admirable substitute)
• Goodbye, wine and beer (both high carb...most hard liquors are zero carb and won't knock you out of ketosis, although it will slow down metabolic processes).
• Goodbye ice cream (I don't have a sweet tooth, and there are some ways to still get your dessert on).
• Goodbye fruit (I really have no response to this.  Not eating fruit sucks.  If you plan accordingly you can probably swing some raspberries or blackberries, which are both about as low-carb as a fruit can get)
• If you're a vegan, I hope you love a challenge.  Tofu will have to be your best friend, as every other bean is too high carb to maintain ketosis.

So, before you dive right in to a ketogenic lifestyle, you need to figure out your macros.  Luckily people have already done the legwork, and there's a great site (http://keto-calculator.ankerl.com) that will take your inputs and shoot out a calorie count along with your protein, fat, and carb ratios.

It's interesting to see the min and max...so on an absolutely terrible day (and 285 grams of fat would definitely be terrible...it's like eating a stick of butter), as long as my carbs stay below 30 I'm at least in ketosis.

Most calorie trackers (I use MyFitnessPal) allow you to adjust macros in the tracking, so setting this up was a breeze.

A quick note: when I (or any ketogenic diet site) discuss carbs, they're referring to NET carbs.  There's a very, very complex formula on determining net carbs, so write this down:  take the carbohydrate count, and subtract the fiber. Unfortunately MyFitnessPal doesn't let me track a net carb macro, so I'm constantly warned that "Your goal was to stay below 30 carbs!" and I'm all "I KNOW, I KNOW.  I AM."  Luckily you CAN adjust the food tracking to show net carbs, so doing the math is still easy.

Coming up in Part II:

• I put butter in my coffee.  You heard me.
• Muscle Gain is mana from the heavens.
• Get ready to pee forever.
• Not all vegetables are created equal

All-In 2016: #24DC Day Five/Six/Seven/Eight

I've browsed around the All-In group over the past few days and read a lot of comments from people complaining about not losing weight on the Cleanse portion.

This is my third cleanse, and given that I lost 12 pounds on my first one and just one pound on my second, I can at least feign some expertise in experiencing both emotions that typically pop up around this point in the 24DC, so here's a few things you (myself included) should keep in mind:

1. Think about where you started.  Before starting the cleanse, how much water did you drink?  How much fiber did you manage?  What were your eating habits like?  How were your energy levels?  How much of your diet featured processed foods?  The primary goal of the cleanse is to give your innards a fresh start after months or years of bad habits built up inside of it, not to shed weight.  And, although that's often a side effect, it's not the most important side effect, by a long stretch.
2. Think about everything else the cleanse gives you.  De-toxifying, restoration via probiotics, cleansing via fiber, the right amount of water.  If you're following the plan, you're giving your body a chance to start over, and Rome wasn't built in a day (I like that idiom because I like the idea that our bodies are empires).
3. The Challenge is just the start.  How much weight can one person possibly lose in 24 days?  Even 30 pounds (without sacrificing muscle) seems very aggressive.  If the Cleanse phase is rebuilding your empire, the Max phase is installing a functioning government, adding some infantry to the army, keeping your civilians happy, and re-positioning yourself as a global force.  You're going from Nero to Caesar, and Caesar's in it for the long haul, not just for a few weeks.  
4. Have faith.  There's a reason your coach tells you not to weigh in until Day 10...there's a lot of crazy stuff going on inside your body right now, and it takes time for all your systems to get simpatico and work together.  

Onwards and upwards!

The weekend was lost to my daughter's birthday, so let's just pretend I took some nice pictures of food and found some stupid pictures to add to the top of the post and we'll start with Day Eight.

Breakfast was the ol' Avocado Toast standby, using Eureka "Seeds the Day" (CLEVER) bread, which I adore because it's a) organic, b) chock full of seeds, and c) vegan. Plus it gets just the right amount of burnt in the toaster.

I got a new packet of recipes from Happy Herbivore on Friday, which means Sunday was largely spent making a billion meals (I'm exaggerating, it was seven) ahead of time, including today's lunch:

Spanish Chickpea Stew!

Software:

2/3 c dry couscous

1/2 small red onion

2 tsp minced garlic

1/2 tsp ground cumin

1/2 tsp ground coriander

1/2 tsp smoked paprika

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

1/2 red bell pepper

14 oz can diced tomatoes

3/4 c chickpeas, drained and rinsed

6 oz fresh spinach

Code:

1. Mix 1 cup of hot water with couscous in a small bowl, set aside to absorb
2. In a large pot lined with water, saute onion and garlic until onion is translucent
3. Add spices and stir to combine (add a bit more water if things get sticky)
4. Add bell peppers and cook to soften slightly, about 1 minute.
5. Add tomatoes, cover, and simmer until peppers are very soft, about 5-10 minutes.  Add more water if things seem dry.
6. Use an immersion blender to roughly pulverize peppers and onions (or you can use a blender)
7. Add chickpeas, cover and cook for another 2-3 minutes
8. Turn off heat, uncover, and add spinach, stirring until the spinach wilts
9. Serve over fluffed couscous (top with hot sauce if you want a little bit more punch)

Serves two!

After a rousing afternoon of 120-minute-long conference calls and scrambling to finish a payment file, I was torn between "should I just reheat one of the meals I made yesterday?" and "should I make something from scratch?" with a smattering of "should I take a nap while I think things over?"

The middle one won.  One won.  English, man.

HH calls this "Maui Luau BBQ Tacos".  I don't like non-descriptive names, so I went with...

BBQ Cauliflower Tacos with Pineapple Salsa!

Software:

3 cups cauliflower florets (about 11 oz)

1/2 cup bbq sauce

6 corn tortillas (not recommended, I'll explain later)

1 cup shredded cabbage

4 oz guacamole

4 oz pineapple chunks

1/4 medium red onion, diced

1 lime

cilantro

Code:

1. Line a large pot with 1/4 c water and steam cauliflower until tender and water has cooked off
2. Mash cauliflower with a potato masher (or whatever gets you little bits of cauliflower)
3. Stir in BBQ sauce and cook on low for 5-10 minutes until sauce has reduced/thickened
4. In a small bowl, mix the pineapple, diced onion, lime juice, and cilantro.
5. Layer each tortilla with cabbage, then cauliflower, salsa, and top with guacamole.

Serves two!  In hindsight I think you'd want to go with either a flour tortilla (which is more robust than its corn counterpart), or use corn tostadas and layer everything like a cake.  The sauce seeped into the tortilla immediately and left me with a very messy (although still tasty) meal.

Today's Final:

Calories: 1657

Carbs: 273

Fat: 44

Protein: 54

Sodium: 605

Sugar: 71

Steps: 9,568 (and counting, hooray for laundry day!)

All-In 2016: #24DC Day Four

Just a reminder to you lovely folks...or rather a reminder to your lovely stomachs.

Too hectic yesterday for recipes or pics.  Onwards and upwards!

All-In 2016: #24DC Day Three

It's a day of reruns, food wise, so for my benefit and yours this will be a relatively short post.

But, breakfast features a new player: Chia Pudding!

Two things I'll say about Chia Pudding:

1. It's an acquired taste.  Chia seeds, on their own, are basically poppy seedlike in texture and taste, which is to say that they taste like just about nothing.  But! Soak them in liquid overnight and the seeds expand and soften and you're left with this gelatinous mixture that's half pudding, half soggy cereal.  At it's most basic level, chia pudding is slow-moving milk.

2. That said, your customization options are nearly endless.  Add oats, flax seed, nuts, berries, peanut butter, chocolate, nutella (if you aren't cleansing).  Use chocolate almond milk, or cashew milk, or coconut milk...or even regular milk, or water, if you're a soulless robot with no sense of taste.  Really, whatever you're jonesing for.

The very basic recipe is incredibly simple.  This serves one huge appetite, or two slightly more normal ones.  Are you ready?  Make sure you write this down so you don't forget:

Software:

1 1/2 cups unsweetened almond milk

1/4 cup chia seeds

1-3 tsp sweetener (agave, honey, liquid stevia)

Code:

Add everything to a bowl, mix thoroughly with a whisk.  Cover and refrigerate, stirring again after 30 minutes to ensure even distribution.  Leave in the fridge overnight.

The sweetener is optional, but I find that even if I add some fruit or peanut butter to the mix it still needs a little bit of honey or agave to make my taste buds sing (not literally).  In today's breakfast I mixed the chia and milk with two servings of PB2 and topped it with honey and cherries and...wow...wish I could have it for lunch.

The Final Score:

• Calories: 1806
• Carbs: 238
• Fat: 68
• Protein: 58
• Sodium: 988
• Water: 120oz
• Steps: 5489 (womp womp)

All-In 2016: #24DC Day Two

Coughing counts as exercise, yes?

The funny thing about chest colds is how much worse you sound as the cold improves.  As everything gets more productive (from a "blasting disgusting stuff out of my lungs" goes, not from an efficiency or work standpoint), I tend to cough roughly once every four nanoseconds.  On the plus side I was able to spend most of a conference call on mute while I hacked up a lung.  On the down side I wasn't able to finish a rant to my manager before completely losing my voice.  I hope it sounded like I was about to cry.

Breakfast:

I finally made my Oh She Glows Oatmeal!  

Recipe is here, since I didn't change a thing.  I went with some dried and unsweetened bing cherries from Trader Joe's as my topping, which probably pushed the calories a bit overboard (469 calories, with 120 of that coming from the cherries).  What I love about this oatmeal is you put everything together the night before, and then in the morning just zap it in the microwave or heat it up on the stove for a few minutes.  Way better than instant, and takes pretty much the same amount of time in the morning as instant.

Tomorrow I'm going to give chia pudding a shot, with my own little twist...since I have about five hundred pounds of chia seeds knocking around my pantry.  They're fascinating little buggers.

Lunch:
Lunch was...mediocre.  I've used this recipe before while camping, but I think this time I overdid it with the ketchup and mustard, which really turned the "burgers" into "mushy globs of not-very-pretty beans and oats".

Quick Burgers (here on a 100 calorie sandwich thin with ketchup and hot sauce)

Software:

15oz can of black beans (drained and rinsed)

2 tbsp ketchup (I eyeballed this...probably a mistake)

1 tbsp yellow mustard (ditto)

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp garlic powder

1/2 c instant oats (I only had old fashioned on hand)

Code:

1. Preheat oven to 400
2. Mash black beans with a potato masher thoroughly.  A few stragglers of intact beans are fine.
3. Stir in condiments and spices
4. Add oats and use your hands to mush everything together, forming four patties about 1/2 inch thick.
5. Place on parchment-lined cookie sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes, flipping once, until crisp

Serves Four!  I'd recommend trying this with instant to see if it better incorporates with the bean mixture.  I've seen variants that add chili powder or hot sauce to heat things up a bit as well.

Snacks:
I'll spare y'all repeats...I mean...at some point you take your 50th picture of an orange and wonder what am I doing with my life? But hummus is my friend.  Hummus is always there for me.  Hummus gets me.

Dinner:

The strangest thing just happened.  I made tonight's dinner and, staying true to my hipster tendencies, took a picture of the end result and posted it on Instagram.  Among the likes?  Happy Herbivore...you know...the awesome woman that created the recipe.

So here's to you, Ms. Nixon: Greek Rice Salad!

Software:

2 tbsp pine nuts

1-2 garlic cloves, chopped (I used 2 because...c'mon)

4 sun dried tomatoes, chopped

2 cups baby spinach

2 cups cooked brown rice

3/4 cup chickpeas, drained and rinsed

1/4 cup kalamata olives, sliced

1 1/2 tsp dried oregano

2 tbsp red wine vinegar

Code:

1. Put pine nuts in a small sauce pan over medium heat, tossing occasionally until toasted
2. Soak sun dried tomatoes in 1 cup of hot water, for 10 minutes
3. Pour about 1/4 cup of soaking water into skillet on medium heat
4. Add garlic to skillet and cook for 2-3 minutes
5. Add spinach and toss in skillet until wilted
6. Transfer spinach/garlic mixture to a mixing bowl
7. Add rice, olives, chickpeas, tomatoes, oregano, and vinegar, toss thoroughly
8. Top with toasted pine nuts

Serves two!

The Final Score:

• Calories: 1910
• Carbs: 309
• Fat: 50
• Protein: 64
• Sodium: 1325
• Water: 104 oz
• Steps: 8500

All-In 2016: #24DC Day One

I spent all of last week looking forward to today.  I'm not joking.  Early in the week I hunted down cleanse-friendly (and, not-so-coincidentally, vegan) recipes for lunch and dinner, and I rediscovered my favorite non-shake breakfast: overnight oatmeal from Oh She Glows (recipe/pics will come when I actually make it).  I sorted out the supplements by phase and organized everything on top of the microwave, and wrote out my grocery list.  I plotted out the next month of workouts (alternating lifting and cardio), and printed everything to put on a clipboard I carry around with me constantly.

Then I got sick.  Not like Swine Flu sick (that's a story for a later time, if you ever want to hear about That Time Tim Almost Died From the Flu), but sick enough that I left work early and spent most of the weekend overdosing on Tylenol Severe Cold and puffing on Albuterol while binge-watching Top Gear on Netflix.  By Sunday the combination of cabin fever and feeling-sorry-for-myself-ism urged me to at least head to the grocery store and feign a sense of preparedness.

The end result of my Day One, after my haphazard preparations over the weekend: totally nailed it...somehow.

Breakfast:
In the past I've always used Advocare's Meal Replacement Shakes during the cleanse.  I've liked every flavor I've tried so far, and it's a crazy easy way to start off the day with carbs and protein and healthy stuff.

That said, here's what I ate on Day One:

I was wondering if I should caption this, or let the audience wonder.  Did he sneeze on a bagel? Is peanut butter not photogenic?  Relax, relax.  It's a 100 calorie container of guacamole spread out on a 100 calorie multigrain sandwich thin.  Lacking a bit in the protein department, but a good way to pick up some "good" fats and complex carbs without breaking the calorie bank.  In hindsight I would've added an egg or two for a protein boost.

Lunch:

It wouldn't be an All-In blog without a recipe, right?

Mexicali Couscous!

Software:

1 small onion, diced

2 tsp taco seasoning

1/2 cup dry couscous

3/4 cup salsa verde (or whatever salsa you have around)

3/4 c vegetable broth

3/4 c black beans, drained and rinsed

1/2 cup corn (thawed)

Code:

1. Saute onion in a bit of vegetable broth until translucent
2. Add taco seasoning and stir to coat
3. Add couscous and mix in well with the onion/seasoning, cook for about 1 minute
4. Add salsa, broth, beans, and corn, stirring well
5. Cover and reduce heat to low
6. Cook until the liquid has absorbed (took mine about 15 minutes)

Serves Two! I had mine with (surprise) guacamole and a side of broccoli.

Snacks:

While I don't typically trust fruit bars, given the tendency to pile on unnecessary sugar or preservatives, I totally dig Trader Joe's fruit bars, since the ingredients on the label match, verbatim, the name of the bar.  Below you'll see my afternoon pick-me-up: a clementine with 1 oz of raw cashews.  I don't eat fruit with any meal, really, so you'll probably see a lot of fruit-heavy snacks on here.

Dinner:

Happy Herbivore's specialty is to create comfort food with the absence of meat, dairy, and added oil.  I actually bought her first book based on a vegan egg salad I ran across, made, and decided it actually tastes better than the real deal.  Rarely does she miss the mark, and tonight is no exception.  I like these sorts of meals for dinner because I don't mind spending 30 minutes preparing something tasty, and despite the decadence of having TWO dipping sauces and "french fries", this meal clocks in at just over 400 calories, with 26g of protein and just 5g of fat.

Buffalo Bomber Fries!

Software:

1 large potato, cut into fries

2 celery ribs, diced

1/4 c Frank's hot sauce

1/2 c almond milk

2 1/2 tbsp nutritional yeast

1 1/2 tbsp flour

1 tsp onion powder, divided

1/2 tsp garlic powder, divided

1/4 tsp cumin

1/4 tsp paprika

1/4 tsp chili powder

3 oz vegan sour cream

1/2 tsp dried dill

Code:

1. Preheat oven to 425
2. Soak fries in water for 5-10 minutes
3. Drain, shake excess water off, and arrange in a single layer on parchment-lined cookie sheet
4. Bake for 10 minutes, flip each fry over, and bake for another 10 minutes.
5. While fries are baking, saute celery in 1/4 water or veg broth until tender
6. Add hot sauce, stir, and reduce heat to low until sauce reduces slightly
7. Whisk almond milk, nutritional yeast, flour, half the onion powder, half the garlic powder, cumin, paprika, and chili powder in a saucepan over medium heat.
8. Bring to a boil, stirring often, then set aside when thick (like a dip consistency)
9. Combine sour cream with remaining spices, store in fridge until fries are done.
10. When fries are ready, take out and put them in a mixing bowl.  Pour in the hot sauce mixture and toss to coat.
11. Serve with "queso" and ranch dip.

Serves One!  You can make the queso and ranch dip ahead of time, but the twenty minutes of baking usually gives me plenty of time to put the rest together.

Note: While I'm never one to advocate adding oil to ANYTHING, I think maybe some spray oil to coat the potatoes would add a lot to this dish.  The potatoes came out crispy but missing that charred layer of deliciousness.

Dessert:

Brown rice rice cakes are boring.  Brown rice rice cakes are slightly less boring with a few tablespoons of reconstituted PB2.

The Final Score:

• Calories: 1632
• Carbs: 269g
• Fat: 39g
• Protein: 68g
• Sodium: 560mg
• Sugar: 62g
• Water: 120oz
• Steps: 8529

All in all, a good start.  Looking forward to knocking out this cold and heading back to the gym sometime this week, though.