Tuesday, September 8, 2015

#1: I Hate to Cry


I am not new to online dating (cue sad trombones), which leaves a chance that my irritation with the banal or the redundant can be chalked up to what I imagine is a longer-than-normal tenure.

But...why? Why is this such common commentary to find in people's profiles?







To pull some of these snippets I ended up doing a Google search, so now random men all over the country have me listed as a visitor to their profile.  Maybe they'll think "hmm...my writing inflection must be a little too androgynous" and rewrite their profiles.  I should send them a message that says "I'm not interested, just proving a point about the superfluity of information on this dating site."

That was a really long way to explain that describing oneself with "I love to laugh" apparently crosses all genders.

OF COURSE YOU LOVE TO LAUGH.  You are not a masochist (and if you were there is still a reasonable chance that you still love to laugh, but not as much as you love being in pain).  You are not a robot.  Unless you have a hernia or you're constantly drinking milk and afraid of any nostril-related accidents, you love to laugh.  You can't get enough of it.  A good portion of your day is dedicated to seeking laughter.

From my own perspective, when a woman lists "I love to laugh" in their summary, she's telling me "I am as interested in you reading about me as I am writing about me, and neither really interest me."

And that's fine, I suppose.  A few years ago I'd have to glance at another person across the bar/library/muesum/busy intersection and think I wonder if THAT woman loves to laugh...  Busting out the knock knock jokes was always such a shot in the dark.

I don't know if online dating is really for me, at least not anymore...but I am 100% certain that, should I find some success in that bizarre land, it won't be with someone that loves to laugh.  I am going to totally date the only laugh hater in town.  You snooze, you lose, man.



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